NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS YOU CAN KEEP
Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can ACTUALLY accomplish?
Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:
~ Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
~ Stop exercising. Waste of time.
~ Read less. Makes you think.
~ Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
~ Spend more time at work, surfing the web.
~ Get in a whole NEW rut!
~ Personal goal: Don't bring back disco.
~ Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.
~ Create loose ends.
~ Get more toys.
~ Get further in debt.
~ Spread out priorities beyond the ability to keep track of them.
~ Focus on the faults of others.
~ Mope about your faults.
~ Never make New Year's resolutions again.